Edward: Mom, why do you even like chocolate ice cream?
Me: Because liking chocolate is a sign of intelligence and sophistication, my dear!
E: Ugh! I couldn't even pay attention to that suuuper long sentence, Mom! I just know I don't like chocolate.
Does it make me a terrible mother that I found this exchange hilarious? I promise I don't really think my child is unintelligent.
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Robert: Dad, can I take this toy to bed with me?
Joseph: I don't think so, Beebah: toys seem to keep you from falling asleep.
R: But I want to play the quiet giant game!
Me: Your games are only ever theoretically quiet, Floofs.
R, not-so-quietly-under-his-breath: You think that, Mom, but you laugh at your own doom!
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Robert was a bit too enthusiastic as he threw the Nutella jar onto the kitchen counter and knocked something over in the process. I gave him my best raised-eyebrow, "watch it, buddy!" look, but he recovered the situation in classic Robert style: "That's just my ninja way of ringing the bell to know that I'm ready for Nutella."
"I meant to do that" is totally for amateurs.
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Robert, in the midst of describing his favorite Minecraft characters to me: "For some reason, nothing poops in Minecraft!"
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As we were driving through the rain, Edward indignantly asked why the clouds were peeing on our car. "Idunno Edskers," came my reflective reply: "why do you pee in the toilet?"
Edward took this rhetorical question far more seriously than I would have guessed. "Mom!?! Does that mean the world is just one big toilet?!"
Robert accepted this theory with stoic acceptance. "I guess that means we're all the planet's toilet germs."
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