.
Edward: Mom? Robert and I are from the Island of Cordoba, and when I'm attacked, my face changes!
.
Robert: Edward, how do you spell rules?
Edward: Why do you want to know?
R: Because Mom and Dad won't understand.
[Brief pause. Robert appears at my side in the laundry room.]
R: Mom, can I have a piece of tape to hang this sign on my door? Edward and I are pretending there are no more rules!
[Another brief pause while I procure the tape.]
R: But there really are rules, like the rule not to kick yourself or someone else in the head!
Me: Yes, that one's very important!
.
Robert and Joseph, taking care of the dishes after dinner:
R: Not the cups! I hate using cups!
J: Why? What's so bad about cups?
R: I just hate it!
J: Interesting.
R: Sometimes, Edward just says "I hate this" for no reason! It's my turn!
J: Well, if you only use one cup at a time, there won't be as many cups to put away.
R: Well, Edward keeps using a lot of cups.
J: But you don't have to.
[Joseph commences humming while Robert stomps dancingly around the kitchen.]
R: This looks clean.
J: It does look clean.
R: Just like this looks like it has a little bit of dirtness on it!
R: [Recommences stomp-dancing.] Miss! Smaller, smaller, smaller.
[Joseph recommences humming.]
J: Your name's Al?
R: Do you agree that egg is gross?
J: Well, maybe after it's been sitting in the sink for a few hours...
R: Mom, I love bedtime more than morning!
Me: Oh. Why?
R: 'Cause it's so much quieter, and I hate morning! And 'cause it feels like it's silent work at school. Like we're working in a dream. But up is funner than dreams because dreams can be very scary. And it can be very scary when you die in dreams!
J: Oh no! Have you had dreams where you die?
R: Actually, I've never had dreams where I die, but I know it would be scary!
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