Two Peas, Different Pods

Edward turns four in a few scant days, and it is all I can do to convince him that he can be self-sufficient at anything. The battles we have over, say, the fact that he can feed himself or put on his own sandals are epic, and almost always end in sorrow.

Another of our ongoing battles involves his bathroom routine. After the month-long torture session of potty training when he was two-and-a-half years old, I spent the next year and a half gradually, lovingly, (mostly) patiently coaching him through the terror and tears of learning how to wash his own hands, take care of the toilet seat on his own, turn the lights on and off, take off his own pants, put them back on again, and, just this last week, do all of this on his own at night without --and this is the best part -- getting me out of bed. (He still wakes me up, alas, but that's only because I'm a light sleeper. I don't mind, though: every time I hear his pattering little feet at night, I am so proud of him for doing something that I know requires all the courage he can muster.)

This last achievement required getting a nightlight for the living room so that he doesn't crash into the table on the way back to his bedroom: the light keeps me up at night, but I think it's a worthwhile trade-off. My not-so-little boy is simply petrified at the unwholesome thought that, one day, he might actually be able to do something by himself. He seriously has nightmares about this, and wants only to watch life go by him from the safety of my lap, snuggled in his blanket.

26-month-old Robert, on the other hand, just now headed to the bathroom, scaled the trash can and a rickety shelf to turn on the light, removed his own clothes, used the potty neat as you like, washed his own hands, and re-dressed himself, and was only upset when I thoughtlessly turned the light off for him. (Moms! What a bunch of imposing nags!) Of course, he got water all over the counter and the bathroom floor, put his underwear on inside out and his shorts on skirt-style, with an unused pant-leg hole flapping behind him, but he did it all himself, thank you very much.

For two kids who do nearly everything together, it's amazing how completely different they are from one another. The tender-heart and the lion-heart.