The Duel

A parody of Eugene Field's poem of the same name; dedicated to my grandfather Jerry Wells

The little boy and the toddler child

Face to face at the table smiled;

‘Twas half-past twelve and (time for lunch!)

Nor one nor t’other had eaten much!

The High Chair Tray and the Sippy Cup

Appeared to know that none would sup

Until there’d been some antics wild.

(I wasn’t there – I only relay

What was told to me by the High Chair Tray.)

The little boy said “no food please!”

The infant child replied “cheez! cheez!”

The floor was littered, an hour or so,

With bits of banana and cheerio*

While the Sippy Cup on the Chair Tray slid,

Holding tight to keep hold of its lid,

For it always dreaded this luncheon tease!

(Now mind, I’m only telling you

What the Sippy Cup declares is true!)

Blueberries soon took to the air,

Banana filled the children’s hair,

But the little boy and the toddler child

Continued with their shenanigans wild,

Employing each hand to fling their food

In every direction that they thought good –

Til the Tray’s face took on a foodly pall.

(Don’t fancy that I’ve made this up –

I got my news from the Sippy Cup!)

That afternoon, when lunch was past,
There was no trace of their repast;

And some folks to this day will state

The reluctant eaters finally ate!

But no: Mom wiped those dirty laps,

And sent the boys to take their naps,

And then returned to clean at last!

(The High Chair Tray it told me so,

And that is how I come to know.)

*Never fear! I did not actually feed my boys Cheerios. This is poetic license at work, folks.