Only Two Things Are Certain in This World…

Being the loving wife and model of domestic perfection that I am, I naturally assured Joseph that I would handle our taxes this year. I mean, how hard could it be, right? Particularly when I splurged and purchased a copy of TurboTax.

Ah! TurboTax! That blessing of modern technology and convenience that translates the inaccessible jargon of my tax forms into laywomen’s terms. This little miracle-in-a-box fills out my tax forms for me by asking a few simple, easy-to-understand questions. For instance:

―Do you want to take the standard deduction, or itemize? (You tell me…)

―What accounting method did you use for your business this year? (Who needs accounting? I just cash the checks.)

―Enter your allowable NOL carryover from 2007: (Um…)

―Do you need to recapture investment income tax on any property? (That depends ― did it escape?)

―Did you have income from a farm rental? (Is this a trick question?)

So much for translating the jargon. Fortunately for me, I had a back-up plan ― one far more reliable and understandable than the “step-by-step guidance” promised by TurboTax; one that requires no splurge, except perhaps in terms of my phone bill; one that has never failed me in all the years (all five of them) that I have been doing taxes: Dad.

My father’s vast experience and knowledge in the science of taxology is such that I took all of my tax information to Utah with me last year when a chance job offer flew me out to Utah for the first few days of April. He and I had Joseph’s and my taxes figured out and completed in an evening. Maybe he’s not so much a tax scientist as a tax wizard, then, ‘cause his ability to understand and apply tax equations is little short of magic.

Maybe this magic comes from experience, or maybe it just comes from being a Dad ― either way, it’s a good thing my dad has this particular wizardry figured out. I mean, even domestic goddesses aren’t always omniscient.